Hormonal Conversations

(I don't think anyone reads this, but if you happen to stumble over here and learn something new, please don't post it publicly on my Facebook wall.  I'm not ready to share the news with the whole world yet, but happy private messages are always welcome.  Thanks! :) )

This morning as I was puking in the kitchen sink, Ethan looked up from his breakfast and inquired, "Mommy, are you baaarfing?"  I moaned out a yes in between heaves, which was met by laughter.  Then, the 3-year-old jokester started imitating *every* gag and puke sound my body made, right down to the spitting.  (Seriously, what's with all the extra saliva??)  He couldn't stop laughing and kept fake-gagging until I finished, then said, "Mommy, are you done being sick now?"  I wish, Dude; I wish.

A little while later I told him it was time to get dressed to go to CBS (a women's Bible study with an awesome children's program we go to weekly).  He was tracing letters, mid-alphabet so not surprisingly, he asked me to leave him at home and just take Zachary.  I tried talking him into it various ways, but he just wasn't having it.  As a last resort, I took the scary-truth approach.  I told him that since he's only 3, he isn't allowed to stay home by himself.  I told him that he can't stay home alone until he's 10, and that's a long way away.  I said that everyone at church would miss him and know he was home alone, and that when little kids stay home alone, they get taken away from their mommies and they have to go live with new families.

And that's when the unexpected happened:  I completely broke down in tears! Sobbing like a freak. I told him that I would be so sad if he couldn't be my baby anymore and I needed him to always be in our family because I love him so much. All of that through tears. Even, "Look Ethan! Look how sad it makes me just thinking about it! You HAVE to be my baby!"  My mouth was in full word-vomit mode and I couldn't stop. Ethan's eyes widened as I sobbed but he didn't cry or get emotional.  He just calmly and rationally said,  "Okay, Mommy.  I'll go," and put up no fuss afterward.  He even started making jokes to try to help me pull myself together.... or to change the subject because I was being weird and awkward.

At this rate, I'm pretty sure this pregnancy is going to scar him for life.  Or maybe, it'll just make him be a really awesome husband one day, calming down the future hysterical woman in his life. 

------

Fun fact:  Here's how a typical Ethan joke usually goes:  [the microwave beeps]  "Mommy, where did that sound come from?  Did it come from the... pillow??? .... No, not from the pillow!  Did it come from the cup?  No, not from the cup!  Did it come from the  [insert object, repeat at least 20 more times with 20 different objects then say]  I tried everything!  WHERE did it come from???  The MICROWAVE! It came from the microwave!!! AHAHAHA!!!")