Postpartum Farting

Oh the things no one warns you about!!!

I can't stop farting since I had Ethan. It's loud and stinky and pretty much non-stop. I can't walk down the aisles of the grocery store without passing gas with several steps. I definitely can't lift Ethan in his car seat without sounding like a human motor boat.  I'm not really sure, but I'm guessing it's because all my muscles down there got so stretched out during the birth.

I laugh when I'm by myself because my noise-making is so utterly ridiculous, but I'm really afraid that sometime soon I'm going to find myself in a very embarrassing situation. I guess I better do some extra kegels, and in the meantime keep the babe glued to my hip so I can blame the excessively loud flatulence on him!

A World of Firsts

Ethan never ceases to amaze me, and the past couple weeks have been no exception.  My little man has started sticking his fists in his mouth and sucking on them, he delights in looking at his toys, and tonight he discovered his laugh. 

Earlier this morning, Ethan was sitting propped up on his Boppy.  He dropped his pacifier, looked at me, and said, "Uuuuuh!" which I took to mean, "Hey lady, give me my paci!"  It was his first real non-cry vocalization, and I was excited.  He absolutely loves to sit and stare at anyone's face, and in his studiousness, he hasn't been a noise-maker.  I was starting to get the impression that he probably wouldn't say anything until he could form a full sentence. 

Then tonight my mom, who has been visiting since Thursday, was talking to him about the Olympics.  She asked him if he was going to do the bobsled.  He grinned real big and let out the cutest little giggle... then did it 2 more times just to prove that yes, indeed, he was laughing!

Another thing Ethan loves is bathtime.  He's never once cried, but now he's truly enjoying it.  He smiles, arches his back, and kicks his legs so vigorously that water splashes over the sides of his tub and sometimes the droplets fly over his head.  After getting myself soaked a couple nights in a row, we've moved from being propped over the kitchen sink to putting his Whale-of-a-Tub in our big tub.  It's much better and I can really encourage his flailing around.

It's moments like these that make me absolutely love being a mommy.  I can't wait for Josh to come home in a month and enjoy them with me!  I just wonder what  my big boy will be doing by then!

Great Expectations

When I was pregnant, I had such high hopes for my upcoming stay-at-home mom days.  I always thought that because I've never felt any pull towards a vocation that maybe God was simply calling me to be a wife and mommy.  I imagined that I would be the perfect little homemaker, that I would quickly settle into a pleasant routine with time to be not only a good mother, but also a good wife.  I knew I'd have over two months to myself to get my life with a baby under control and that by the time Josh got back from Kuwait, I'd be a 20th century June Cleaver, pearls and all.  It all seemed so perfect in my head, and I was so, SO excited that finally my time to shine was coming. 

Oh, if only.

When it comes to my family, first and foremost, I want to be a wife that Josh can be proud of.  I want to earn the privelege to stay at home by making sure that every day the bed is made, that there are clean socks to wear, and that Josh comes home to a showered and affectionate woman, happy children, and a hot meal on the table.  I want to be a blessing in this house, and I want this to be a place he is always excited to return to.

As it is, I can hardly get a chance to open the mail every day, let alone regularly clean the house or manage to eat dinner before 8 pm.  My dog howls because he's not getting enough attention, and my baby's cries so much in the early evenings for no apparent reason that last night, I wanted to lay face down in the snow in utter defeat.   I feel like a complete failure when I think about how grand my original plans were.  I honestly thought that this was my "calling" and it'd all come to me naturally and that it wouldn't seem so impossible.  But it does seem impossible, and I'm feeling really disappointed in myself.

I've got one more month to pull it together... and no earthly idea how I'm going to get there.