Time For Change

After my last post, my mind whirrled for a few days.  Community.  Where do I find it?  My church is full of new moms just like me (who also happen to be my closest friends here), but they all work.  Where are the stay at home moms I always thought existed?  If they're like me, probably holed up in their house and lonely. 

My sister-in-law belongs to several Mommy & Me type groups up in Virginia, and based on all the Facebook postings, her friends seem amazing.  I'm very, very jealous... in a happy for her but my life sucks kind of way.  From what I understand, she found them on Meet-up.com.   Unfortunately, when I searched locally here months ago, I found one really giant group and it's for moms with kids of all ages.  For some reason, I don't see myself having tons of fun hanging out with moms of 4-year-olds when my babe can't even sit on his own yet.  Maybe there are a few people with tiny ones like mine, but I feel too chicken to even try to infiltrate a group like that.  I'm afraid of showing up and sitting there alone while all the other moms ignore me.

So, with less than optimistic thoughts like that, I've been pouting ever since my internet search came up short.  Why has my social life sucked so much since I graduted college five years ago?  What have I been doing wrong?  Am I really so unlikable? 

My pastor has been dropping lots of hints in his sermon that we need to get ourside of our comfort zones, and Dr Phil always tells his guests that if what you've been doing isn't working, then it's time to change.  Maybe I'm finally disgusted enough with my life to listen. 

I'm thinking about starting my own playgroup.  I'm just not quite sure how to go about it.  I would want it to be geared toward moms with babies around Ethan's age, but it seems kinda stupid to have a play date when our babies aren't really "playing" age yet.  Would anyone out there even be interested?  Do I start trying to drum up interest now or wait until we have kids who are capable of actually *doing* something?  At this point, what could a group of 4-month-olds and moms do?  And who'd want to drive to Fort Gordon to do it? 

I just don't know.

And that hesitation is probably why most days, I want to run away from my life.  The only problem with that is, wherever I'd go, there I'd be.